Crazy Like A Fox: Chapter Six

“The O’Reilly Factor”

Day Two

O’Reilly claimed the AP, a collection of countless reporters who write for hundreds if not thousands of newspapers, magazines, television and radio stations, has a liberal bias. Dude, I think O’Reilly may be on the drugs.

O’Reilly defines a conservative as having “traditional values.” A conservative is someone with a love of guns, a willingness to torture and execute prisoners, a hatred of gays, and an open distrust (and contempt) for minority viewpoints. Not only are these things not traditional… they possess no value.

I’d like to single out two things O’Reilly said during the Obama interview. First, in reference to his audience, he said, “They want a president they can identify with.” That one sentence is why I will never be a regular O’Reilly viewer. The last thing I want is “someone I can identify with” leading this country. On my best days, I am only half a whack job. I am inexperienced and stubborn. I procrastinate and I suck at math. The President of the United States should not be like me in any way, shape, or form. O’Reilly viewers are either so egotistical they believe they or someone like them should be president, or they think so little of the job that they believe any like-minded boob can do it. The president should possess a towering intellect, a generous heart, a relentless pursuit of the vision laid out by our founding fathers, and the ability to thoughtfully communicate ideas to the American people. I cannot identify with any of those qualities, but if I ever see a candidate who has them, that candidate will get my vote.

“Fox News is not hateful.” O’Reilly’s words, not mine. My words: Sean Hannity. Everyone is entitled to free speech, but if Fox News doesn’t want to be labeled as hateful, they are going to have to part ways with Sean Hannity. I used to catch portions of his radio show during my lunch hours a few years ago, and what I’ve seen of him recently has only reinforced my opinion of the man. Believe it or not, the late Tom Snyder once used the same word to describe both Rush Limbaugh and Howard Stern: entertainer. The words out of Sean Hannity’s mouth are not entertaining. They are hateful, and if I worked for the same company that he does, I would be embarrassed to be associated with him. To give credit where credit is due, I don’t think O’Reilly is hateful. He may be smug, egomaniacal, two-faced, and slimy, but not hateful.

Following today’s portion of the Obama interview, O’Reilly had a panel discussion filled with people who would pat him on the back and offer kudos to him for his interviewing prowess. He went on to say, “Far left precincts frighten a lot of people.” I wonder what he means by that, and I’ll leave it to anyone who might read this to decide for his or herself what O’Reilly might have meant by that. In all seriousness, I would strongly encourage people to really think about what he might mean by that.

While talking to Greta Van Susteren, O’Reilly had the stones to say, “We’re not rooting for anybody here at ‘The Factor’ in this election.” Oh, come on. I’ll grant the premise that O’Reilly isn’t hateful, but for me to believe he has no bias or agenda, I’d need a frontal lobotomy.

O’Reilly wasted a segment talking about OJ Simpson. Didn’t he learn his lesson when he was hosting “Inside Edition?”

During a roundtable with two lawyers, O’Reilly told one of them, a woman named Mercedes, “Hey, button it for a minute!” If I’d been in the room, I would have punched him in the face. Twice. As a school teacher, I am not allowed to tell a student to “shut up,” and even if I was allowed I still wouldn’t do it. Even the simplest rules of common decency dictate how one seeks silence from others in a room. O’Reilly was unprofessional, and he owes the woman, his viewers, and his network an apology. What that sort of behavior says to me is that O’Reilly doesn’t know how to do his job. If O’Reilly can’t be decent with his guests, he needs to get a job working at Kinko’s where such rudeness is expected (so sayeth a former Kinko’s copy boy).

Following O’Reilly being rude to a woman, he had a quiz about Clint Eastwood movies. This was time I could have spent donating blood, feeding the homeless, or hanging upside down until I passed out. It was at this point that O’Reilly abandoned the already flimsy premise of being a journalist and became as pointless as Mary Hart on “Entertainment Tonight.”

Tonight’s installment of “The Factor” really fed the liberal preconceptions about Fox News in general, and O’Reilly in particular. If yesterday’s show was the norm and tonight was the exception… hey… anyone can have an off day or two. But if tonight’s show was the norm, Bill O’Reilly needs a paddlin’… along with the aforementioned punches to his face.