RP: Night of the long knives

The Remote Patrol for Wednesday, November 12, 2008
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings
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8 p.m.
Somebody from “Roswell” guests on “BONES” (Fox) as Booth’s younger brother, who immediately puts the moves on Bones.

Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood host “THE 1ST ANNUAL TAYLOR SWIFT COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS” (ABC).

“MONARCHY: THE ROYAL FAMILY AT WORK” (PBS) watches the blue bloods do … whatever it is they do.

10 p.m.
“BORN TO BE KING: CHARLES AT 60″ (PBS) checks in with Simba as he waits for the wildebeests to trample Sarabi.

“TOP CHEF: NEW YORK” (Bravo) unpacks the knives.

Carlos Leon, baby daddy to Madonna’s 1st larvae guests on “LAW & ORDER: ORIGINAL RECIPE” (NBC) as an ex-con working at a home for mentally challenged adults. Criss Judd had a better gig?

Cartman. “ELEMENTARY SCHOOL MUSICAL.” (Comedy Central).

TELE-GEBRA
Nickelodeon’s “Finders Keepers” + “House on Haunted Hill” = “ESTATE OF PANIC” (Sci Fi).

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TV OR NOT TV RECOMMENDS
“ZOOM - Back to the 70s”
http://tinyurl.com/tvornottvzoom
At best people might remember the theme, the pre-email “Send it to Zoom!” (”Box 350, Boston, MA 0-2-1-3-4″) shout out, the Ubbi Dubbi language, and the song “City Child.” Four episodes and a greatest hits show might be just the right amount to put out as a nostalgia package instead of a deluxe Shout Factory box set. Better to leave ‘em wanting more. Now, where’s my “Square One TV,” bitches?
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NIGHT LIGHTS
* T. Boone Pickens winds by Jon’s place.
* Bob Woodward thinks Colbert is worse than Waterworld.
* Russell Brand and Charlie Haden forgets Sarah Letterman.
* Steve Carell and Beck drink soy milk with Jay.
* Seann William Scott and Kathy Kinney bite doughboys with Craig.
* Frank Caliendo and Joshua Radin imitate being interesting with Conan.
* Jimmy dances with the Julia Louis Dreyfus and the Julianne Hough.