RP: 1/3-4: Massive Thumbtack

The Remote Patrol for January 3-4, 2009
by Thomas Allen Heald, Ruler of Rushmore Randomness
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings

TOM’S TWISTED TOTALLY TRIVIAL TV THINGY
Sure SportsNight did it better … a year later … but who played a cable sports news anchor on ABC a year before Josh Charles and Peter Krause?
A) Scott Bakula
B) Ted Danson
C) Arsenio Hall
D) John Ritter
E) Jay Thomas

Monday brings the right answer, and makes you two days older and deeper in dept.

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SATURDAY
8 p.m.
TELE-GEBRA
Several Nickelodeon game shows + “Punk’d” = “GAME SHOW IN MY HEAD” (CBS) as Joe Rogan, sends people out to do his / the writers bidding to humiliation for mid level prize money.

9 p.m.
Take out your aggression at the Paper street soap factory on “SEVEN DEADLY SINS: ANGER” (History).

9 p.m.
Vanessa Marcil tries not to kill the brats she’s charged with on “THE NANNY EXPRESS” (Hallmark)

TELE-GEBRA
“Must Love Dogs” + “Mother” = “SMOTHER” (Lifetime) as the obsessive Diane Keaton annoys therapist son Dax Shepard, as “Punk’d” spinoff night keeps on trucking through this Super Sounds of the Seventies Weekend.

SUNDAY
7 p.m.
Michael Phelps will likely be added to the “SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE SPORTS EXTRA 2009″ (NBC) sure to feature Synchronized Men’s Swimming.

8 p.m.
“SEVEN DEADLY SINS: PRIDE” (History) goeth after the Autumn.

The visuals may be creepy on “IN THE WOMB: DOGS” (National Geographic), but the ultra-sound is in THX.

TELE-GEBRA
“Celebrity Fit Club” – “The Biggest Loser” = “CONFESSIONS OF A TEEN IDOL” (VH1) as Scott Baio and Jason Hervey play Dr. ‘enry ‘iggins to Christopher Atkins, David Chokachi, Billy Hufsey, Jeremy Jackson, Eric Nies, James Walters and Adrian Zmed.

9 p.m.
Bond babe Gemma Arterton is “TESS OF THE D’URBERVILLES” (PBS), which as Peanuts character Sally Brown noted was written by “Laural N. Hardy.”

“IN THE WOMB: CATS” (National Geographic) shows how they make tennis rackets.

“NOSTRADAMUS: 2012″ (History) reveals why we’re all toast on Dec. 21, 2012.

TELE-GEBRA
* “America’s Got Talent” + The Olympics ÷ “Dancing with the Stars” – The Stars = “SUPERSTARS OF DANCE” (NBC) .
* “Rock of Love” + a bus = “ROCK OF LOVE BUS” (VH1).

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TTTTTT ANSWER
Sure Ben Affleck’s impersonation of Keith Olbermann on “Saturday Night Live” sucked. But who successfully embodied KO on TV back in 1998? Josh Charles took on a highly Olbermann-esque role on “Sports Night.” The sitcom described with a minimum of three prepositional phrases involving the words “show,” “about,” and “sports.”

But the conversation doesn’t end here, add your own suggestions or discuss mine on the “TV or Not TV” Google list. “The Remote Patrol” is copyright© 2008 Thomas Allen Heald and Gigantic Rear Projection, Ltd.