RP: 2/3 Doctor please, some more of these … What a drag it is getting old

The Remote Patrol for Tuesday, February 3, 2009, the Groundhog’s Day Off.
by Thomas Allen Heald, Get Off My Lawn
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings

TOM’S TOTALLY TWISTED TV TRIVIA THINGY
In 1990, ABC had a strange unsold pilot for a “Facts of Life” ripoff with college professor living with five students. Who flunked out before the first semester?
A) Dolly Parton in “Dolly Would!”
B) Jimmy Carter in “The Off White House”
C) Kermit the Frog at “Muppet U.”
D) Ms. Westhiemer in “Dr. Ruth’s House”
E) Mr. T at “T Time”

The correct answer, or at least 4 incorrect ones await you tomorrow, once they pay their back taxes.
—
“ABC’s WORLD NEWS TONIGHT” (Check local listings) offers a White House interview with President Obama. Hopefully, Charlie Gibson can get him to weigh in on Britney Spears or Taylor Swift. You know, like his hard news competitors.

8 p.m.
“THE SPY FACTORY” (PBS) gives the 411 on the N.S.A. Wouldn’t you like to be a pepper too?

Nah, you’re watching “AMERICAN IDOL HOLLYWOOD WEEK 1: VIEWERS 0″ (Fox). Taking an early lead, Aretha Franklin’s Inaugural Hat.

9 p.m.
Michael J. Fox and the writer Michael Kinsley are on the interview slate of David Iverson, whose documentary on Parkinson’s affects, he says “MY FATHER, MY BROTHER AND ME” (PBS).

Mike Rowe is genial with soiled diapers on “DIRTY JOBS” (Discovery).

10 p.m.
Don Cheadle narrates a documentary on the devilish deejay he portrayed in “Talk to Me,” “ADJUST YOUR COLOR: THE TRUTH OF PETEY GREEN” (PBS).

Another new character, another relative’s plastic surgery on “NIP/TUCK” (FX). Plus the duo attempt to remove Michael Phelps head from his ass. Brought to you by Subway brand rolling papers.

11 p.m.
Get in with “THE IT CROWD” (IFC) for another season.

TALK SHOW DEATH MATCH
Rod Blagojevich delivers a scissor cut to Dave; Penelope Cruz(es) Jay; Robin Williams uses the same old jokes with Craig; Jimmy parrots John Cleese; while Conan deals with chicken fried Jackasses Brian Williams, Johnny Knoxville, and Zac Brown Band.
WINNER: Dave, RUNNER UP: Jimmy.

QUESTIONABLE ANSWER
Which series was originally set to run on HBO and star Joe Piscopo or Rodney Dangerfield? ABC wound up with “Sledge Hammer” (and David Rasche) instead.

But the conversation has just begun, add your own suggestions or discuss mine on the “TV or Not TV” Google list or at tvornottv.net. “The Remote Patrol” is copyright© 2008 Thomas Allen Heald and Gigantic Rear Projection, Ltd.