Thomas Allen Heald (1972-2009)

Tom was pleased with the Muppet made in his image

The words “global community” have new meaning today. Through the use of technology, humanity has evolved to the point where we no longer need to be physically near to feel close to someone. And we no longer need to have met someone to feel the pain and the sadness of that someone’s passing.

A Google search reveals more then 12 million mentions of Thomas Allen Heald (1972-2009). That is an impressive digital footprint. I only knew Tom through his words. We would never get the chance to meet face-to-face, but (to borrow from “Sesame Street”) he was a person in my neighborhood. He was a part of my community.

What began a decade ago as an exchange of quips over television trivia on a message board expanded into a friendship, with the help of e-mail, MySpace, Facebook, LinkedIn, and AIM (to name just a few of our online degrees of connectedness). I didn’t even know what Tom looked like until about a year ago. But we were friends, and I mourn his loss as if he had lived next door to me all these years. Honestly, I mourn his loss even more, as I don’t think I’ve said more than a handful of words to any of my neighbors.

I have encountered no one with the gift of wit as sharp and insightful as Tom’s. I was envious of Tom’s ability to turn a phrase and manipulate the English language to serve his own interests. He found the humor in everything. And anyone who remembers the “Little Winki” era on the TVBarn message board knows Tom had the patience and compassion of a saint.

I felt his sadness when Tom’s shi-tzu passed away. I felt his concern as he dealt with the ailments of family members, as well as health problems of his own. I discovered how smart he really was during multiple rounds of online-Scrabble (I still have two unfinished matches against him, and he was cleaning my clock in both of them). And I experienced all of this without ever shaking Tom’s hand or meeting up with him at a bar or restaurant.

That is the gift of the global community. It is nothing less than awesome that, in spite of the fact we lived more than 1,000 miles apart, I was allowed to get to know Tom. There are those who see the internet’s main purpose as conveying news and information. There are those who use it to gamble, make purchases, pay bills, and meet women. To me, the main purpose of the internet should be to unite us as one people. It should be to allow us to share experiences and ideas from opposite hemispheres as easily as if we were standing beside each other.

Our final round of instant messaging (the last time Tom and I would exchange words) took place last week. It concerned the casting of a former soap star in the next season of “Californication.” We began cracking jokes about the recently unemployed stars of “Days Of Our Lives,” and how grateful we were to not be seeing their naked bodies on the libidinous Showtime series (the thought of a nude Drake Hogestyn made us both shudder). Certainly nothing poignant in the conversation, but the blue humor helped me through an otherwise arduous week.

I never heard the sound of Tom’s voice, but his life mattered to me. He was able to impact the lives of countless people, even if it was only to provide a cheap laugh. He was a vital and important part of my community, and my words scarcely do him justice.

Thomas Allen Heald and I shared a fondness for the late Tom Snyder. Mr. Snyder had a great way to pay tribute to those who passed away. If I may paraphrase:

There was a time when Thomas Allen Heald did not exist. Sadly, that time has come again. How fortunate we were to have lived in his time.

Rest in peace, Tom. And know that the conversation has just begun…