Vintage VHS #3

I have hundreds of videotapes, and I still watch them. And just because most people no longer have the ability of watching what I’ve recorded over the years is no excuse not to review the programing. Each installment of this “Vintage VHS” series will cover one videotape in my collection from beginning to end. Most tapes are an eclectic mix of TV shows and movies recorded over the last 25 years.

Tape Type: TDK

Recording Speed: EP

Year(s) Recorded: 1991, 1992, 1993

Video quality: Good, but the tracking was tough to set

Audio quality: The usual tape hiss

Degree of embarrassment at having recorded what I did: none

0:00:00    Mystery Science Theater 3000 – “Cave Dwellers”

Yes, I am an MST3k fanboy, a.k.a. a "Misty"

In this, the third season (on Comedy Central/Channel) premiere, Cave Dwellers tells the story of Ator, a prehistoric guy who lived in a cave and mastered everything from flight to nuclear bombs. The concluding bumper of the episode is perhaps my favorite of the entire series, where Joel and the bots point out the numerous continuity errors in the movie. Quoting from my personally autographed (yes, I’m gloating like a fanboy) copy of “The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide,” “Miles O’Keefe is the scantily clad hero of a people who have no dress code, and he must save them from the geometric nucleus that endangers world peace. His nemesis is an evil guy in a Cher wig.”

1:31:01    Columbo: Grand Deceptions

I used to think it odd that a friend of mine chose to pattern her behavior on the character Elwood P. Dowd from “Harvey” (played eloquently by Jimmy Stewart and less eloquently by Harry Anderson in a forgettable remake). But then I realized that I spent a good, long time following in the footsteps of Columbo, right down to the 20 year old tan trenchcoat I still have in my closet. I met Peter Falk at the Emmy Awards about 10 years ago. He was drunk as a skunk, and couldn’t have been nicer or more polite… like Dowd, though I don’t think Falk was drunk enough to imagine a six foot tall rabbit. With the exception of the first televised installment of the series, Columbo is never less than kind and genial to anyone he meets. In this ABC Saturday Night Movie, Columbo goes up against Robert Foxworth, who plays the head of a sort of Michigan militia outfit who murders a junior officer when he threatens to blackmail him. This was one of the 1980s Columbo installments.

3:06:11    Columbo: How To Dial A Murder

This was one of the last of the original Columbo movies (it would be more than 10 years before the character would be revived again) from the 1970s. This recording was from when it reran late at night on KTLA. The murderer was a film buff, so whoever managed the props for the Columbo series either wandered down to the Universal Studios prop house and cluttered the set with movie memorabilia or did a decent job recreating items, most notably the famous “Rosebud” from “Citizen Kane.” Look for a small cameo by Kim Cattrall and an even smaller cameo by Ed Begley Jr.

4:16:33    Inauguration Day ‘93

CNN coverage of the bell ringing that chimed in the Clinton administration. Lots of talk about hope, which had, if you’ll forgive me, a familiar ring to it.

4:19:29    MTV Inaugural Ball

I long for the days when MTV took presidential elections as an opportunity for cheap and shameless frat humor. I miss Randy of the Redwoods. But during the run-up to the election of our 42nd president, MTV took it upon itself to rally the youth of America. “Choose or Lose,” it proclaimed. But, after aiding in a Clinton victory, it allowed MTV the chance to promote itself at the same time it promoted democracy, and they held one of the 11 inaugural balls in 1993. Hosted by Dennis Miller (what a long, strange trip he’s been on), the concert event showcased the liberals in music, including En Vogue, Soul Asylum, 10,000 Maniacs, Boys II Men, and Don Henley (who famously took the show hostage when he and his band did not stop performing long enough for MTV to cut to a commercial) (and is that a then unknown Sheryl Crow backing up Henley?). Marky Mark had some words of wisdom for us, but there really is no need to repeat them here (suffice it to say, they ended with “yo”). MTV even let Roger Clinton belt out a tune. President Clinton stopped by to thank the huddled masses, and the audience had to hear “Don’t Stop (Thinking About Tomorrow)” one more excruciating time (ironically, when the public stopped thinking about tomorrow, we wound up with eight years of Bush). The late Peter Jennings showed up… I really miss his voice in television journalism. Lastly, I would like to pledge myself unquestioningly to Karen Duffy, wherever she is. I remember she dropped out of the spotlight when she had some health problems, but never quite made it back after her recovery. I miss her, as I miss any woman who is both attractive and smart. For that matter, if Natalie Merchant reads this, ditto for you, baby.

5:54:08    Lots Of Seas – Rockapella

For my taxpaying dollar, there was little better on PBS in the 1990s than “Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?” (with the possible exception of “This Old House” and “The Frugal Gourmet”). The game show contained education, comedy, the late Lynne Thigpen, and musical accompaniment provided by Rockapella. Not a traditional boy band, Rockapella actually harmonized and had genuine vocal talent. I presently own a half dozen CDs featuring the band (including two outstanding Christmas albums). This was a time-filler at the end of an episode that ran short, so Rockapella performed a song set to the tune of Billy Joel’s “For the Longest Time” wherein they listed a few bodies of water for kids to memorize.

5:58:00 Hot Seat with Wally George – Rick Dees

Before there was Rush Limbaugh, there was Wally George. And, if you’ve never heard of the Orange County based talk show host, it is because even the most conservative Republicans rejected him as too far off the path. The set of “Hot Seat” was sparsely decorated with only American flags, a small picture of Ronald Reagan, and a large picture of John Wayne. In the grand tradition of ostentatious talk show hosts, Wally would invite people on, disagree with them, and then have security physically drag them out of the studio. Wally had a long-running feud with the then king of morning radio, Rick Dees. Pies were thrown, words were exchanged, and ratings for both hosts went up. In this brief clip of “Hot Seat,” Dees appears with a woman wearing nothing but a tiny bikini which appeared to have been created from an equally tiny American flag. The woman gave Wally a lap dance, then Wally had them both dragged out of the studio. Truly, quality television.