The Year That Was

I have no interest in doing a “Year In Review” retrospective on the events of my life over the course of the year 2009. To be perfectly honest, I’d rather shove a pencil in my good eye. Fortunately for you and for me, this website is largely devoted to the world of television and entertainment, and a retrospective of a year on the small screen is a much less painful concept to play around with.

We begin at the beginning, when our own Thomas Heald posted what he felt were the top 10 television shows of the previous year, and I felt inclined to do the same.

January also brought us the departure of Shannen Doherty from the newer, skankier incarnation of “90210.” As an avid fan of the only woman on the planet with enough self-destructive tendencies to rival me, I had to watch, but it wasn’t easy.

Another thing that wasn’t easy to watch were the pre-series online hi-jinks of Jimmy Fallon, who can suck the funny out of a room faster than any person I’ve ever watched.

When it was announced that NBC had teamed up with government agencies to apprehend war criminals, it got me to thinking. And we all know that’s never good.

Arguably, one of the top television-related stories of the year had to have been Jay Leno’s departure from “The Tonight Show.” My approach to the story was decidedly personal. Having worked on the NBC lot, I thought it would be interesting to revisit the old haunt and attend a taping of the show.

Allegations of domestic violence outside of a major awards show. Seems like a serious situation. I see it as an opportunity for dark comedy.

When a mental health expert appears on Anderson Cooper’s show to help ease the minds of those suffering from the failing economy, one would not expect controversy. Unless the mental health expert isn’t a mental health expert at all, but a raving lunatic who insists people call him a doctor when he isn’t one.

As the economy first started to impact me, I began to cut back on a few luxury items. The first to go was my cable box. And though it seemed odd to many that someone who watches a good deal of television (and writes about it) would forgo the primary means of distribution, I had a plan.

A local artist grabbed headlines when he painted a version of “The Last Supper,” replacing Jesus and his disciples with iconic cartoon characters. It created a bit of a controversy, so I headed down to the gallery to see it for myself.

When it comes to online authors, Thomas Heald was the best of us. He was a man-about-town, the town in question being the global village. As the primary force behind this website, he is missed. His humor and his opinion were unmatched.

As part of my plan for enjoying current and former television shows despite any cable hookup, I invented a new dance: The Hulu Hula (One, Two, Three, Four).

Of course, we all had a thing or two or three to say about coverage of the death of Michael Jackson.

In the most viewed posting to the website this year, I culled information from the Facebook profiles of some friends who still work in the industry to provide breaking news on massive cutbacks at LA’s Fox affiliate.

After the sickening sycophancy that surrounded the death of Michael Jackson, I attempted (in my usual futile manner) to dig deeper into the pressing issue. In this case, the issue was fame itself, and its role in society.

While Anderson Cooper was away, his cats did more than play. They managed to destroy the credibility of his newscast by covering rumor as if it was fact.

Something strange happened in the late summer. I found a TV show I enjoyed watching. Naturally, it was cancelled.

As more and more celebrities kicked the bucket, a pattern began to emerge. I latched onto the patter, and treated the entire situation with my usual reverence and delicacy.

Something stranger happened in the fall. I found a TV show I enjoyed watching, and it wasn’t cancelled.

Things got back to normal, however, as I attempted to watch the latest incarnation of Stargate. If dramatic television can get any worse, I don’t want to know.

As the AMAs came and went, some controversy remained, centered around one man’s performance, and the network’s collective response to it. I responded to the response.

And that is the year in the internet equivalent of a nutshell. Here’s hoping that 2010 is a television odyssey. Because the conversation doesn’t end here.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.