The end of civilization as we know it… and I feel fine

Picture it:

Carl, a hapless ne’er-do-well, sits on a ski lift, sandwiched between two women, Candice and Rose. And these are no unattractive women. The word “bunnies” leaps to mind in free association with these women. Here is Carl’s opportunity to score, right? Here is where Carl unleashes the full force of his charisma and personality, right? Here is where the three people, at the very least, say hello to one another, right?

Wrong.

Carl isn’t to blame here. He is merely a player in this little one-act, one-scene play. And, as much as I enjoy blaming women for things, you can’t really fault Candice or Rose. For it is not they who have concocted the scenario that unfolds — it is society itself that is to blame. And, of course, Sprint, since I’m describing a commercial promoting their 4G wireless network.

This is what we’ve been reduced to as a people. We no longer commune with human beings, not even when we’re seated next to them. No, instead we’re like Carl, Candice, or Rose, fiddling with our Blackberries or other cellular/mobile devices. You see, Carl doesn’t chat up the two ladies he’s seated between because he’s busy downloading apps. Candice is ignoring Carl because she’s checking out new music. And Rose is using her cell-phone whilst imagining herself laying next to a bikini-clad woman, perhaps contemplating a lesbianic trist (which, at least, explains her lack of interest in Carl).

My point is that this commercial is not only promoting a wireless service, but it also promotes antisocial behavior. You’re on a ski lift with two other people, but you ignore them in favor of your machine. You cannot get a better definition of antisocial behavior without mentioning serial killers.

Sprint: The wireless network for people who like to communicate with others, but only through some sort of hand-held device.