TV or Not TV

I bought a used car a few months ago, and I am proud of the deal I got. The car was only four months old, but the previous owner wanted leather interior, so he traded it in. Personally, I don’t like leather in a car, so I was content to buy the virtually new car. I was especially pleased at the cost of the car: $16k below a comparably equipped new model. Were it not for the deep discount, there is no way I would have been able to afford to buy it. As it stands, it serves as a pleasant vehicle in which to sit through rush-hour traffic in Los Angeles.

One of the amenities the previous owner sprang for a was a contract for satellite radio. I don’t actually know how long the contract is, but until it expires (which could be tomorrow or never), I have access to SiruisXM channels. It is an option I would not have thought of paying for. I am a devout fan of podcasts, and I listen to a routine number of them during my commute and at bedtime. There are also a handful of Los Angeles radio stations I listen to, specifically KLOS and The Sound. In short, it seems like overkill to pay for additional access to media. Then again, maybe not.

In LA, we are mostly limited to either classic rock, hip-hop, or pop stations. Longtime “oldies” station K-Earth now includes Madonna in its playlist. There is no local source for blues or jazz standards. There is no FM talk station (other than NPR). AM talk is almost entirely conservative and filled with pompous bastards.

Over the last few months, however, I have enjoyed having the variety of formats on SiriusXM. SiriusXM has an entire station dedicated to Frank Sinatra (though sometimes other artists are featured on the station, which I don’t entirely understand). It has a bluegrass station (something I’m surprised I enjoy). It has news and talk stations from Canada and the UK. I caught BBC Radio 1’s record breaking 52-hour marathon broadcast of The Chris Moyles Show. I also caught CNN coverage of the potential government shutdown. I even discovered that I like the newest Dr. Dre single.

It is ironic that the world of radio seems to only offer diversity when one is forced to subscribe to 150+ channels all at the same time, while similar bundled deals have resulted in the homogenization of television. And, of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that SiriusXM is a failed business model. What began as two failing satellite radio networks has now merged into one failing network.

In the end, people don’t see the benefit of choice. I can’t even engage in a debate about how we have allowed the public airwaves to be usurped by private enterprise because I find the situation so infuriating. But whether the public airwaves or satellite radio, people don’t seem to want different radio options. They also don’t mind paying for cable TV channels that mimic each other. People seem to be alright with massive studios acquiring independent production companies, further limiting who green-lights the creation and distribution of content. People seem to have accepted that a handful of people are responsible for the majority of media made available.

People look to the internet is a viable option. There has been a shift to ‘net-based streaming/downloading of video content, but radio stations haven’t had tremendous online success (though, oddly enough, radio stations who stream live video content do tend to fare well). The most successful podcasts have been run by independent individuals. It will be interesting to see how well filmmaker Kevin Smith’s Smodcast Internet Radio (S.I.R.) network performs (I predict it will also find a home on SiriusXM).

If I ruled the world, broadcast radio would more closely resemble SiriusXM. There would be greater variety of content. Failing that, I enjoy SiriusXM, but not enough to actually pay for it — not because I don’t think it is a worthwhile purchase, but because it is something we should already be getting for free. There are those who want to cut funding for public radio content, whereas I feel it should be increased to allow for more options. The airwaves belong to us, but we timidly accept the lack of choice. However, unlike SiriusXM, I’d prefer radio stations that wouldn’t cut out whenever I went through a tunnel or under an overpass. And my Sinatra channel would ONLY play Sinatra.

“Certifiably Jonathan” is not a bad movie, but much like the subject of the film, it is more than a bit bipolar.

The flick begins as a straightforward documentary about veteran comedian Jonathan Winters as he attempts to break into the world of modern art. There is a little bit of biographical information given, including a few classic moments from Kack Paar’s “Tonight Show,” but this is not a career retrospective (much to the chagrin of Roger Ebert). The thing is: It is also not a documentary.

Shot over a period of seven years, the movie is an opportunity — possibly the last opportunity — to document the improvisational style of the master himself. At a certain point the movie stops documenting fact and begins to document — and even stage — fiction.

If I had to point out a flaw in the film (and isn’t that the role of any critic — to be critical?), it is that the staged elements are not as good as the stream-of-consciousness improv. Winters gets the opportunity to play opposite a stellar cast of characters, including Robin Williams. I have a low tolerance to the style of Robin Williams, but the film contains exactly the right amount of him. Also included in the “cast” are Jeffrey Tambor, Ryan Stiles, Rob Reiner, Jim Carrey, Howie Mandel, Tim Conway, every famous person named Arquette, and Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman (shot when the two were still an item). Each of the celebrities get to improvise with Winters and the results are memorable.

This movie didn’t necessarily need a narrative thread, but it has one: the world of modern art. As Winters attends various gallery openings and has his paintings reviewed by dealers and art critics, it is decided that what he really wants (or wants for the purposes of the film) is to have his artwork on display at the Museum of Modern Art in New York. But when one of his paintings is stolen, Jonathan Winters sinks into depression, believing he has also lost his sense of humor as well. Again, the narrative isn’t needed, and audiences would be better served by not worrying too much about it, which is my way of saying the plot is not what makes the movie worth seeing. In fact, it is best not to think too much about the storyline and just enjoy the comedy.

The movie opens in Los Angeles on April Fool’s Day in Beverly Hills. My hope is the DVD will include unseen footage. I’d like to see more of Howie and Jonathan at Target, for instance. In any event, check it out when you are ready to laugh hard.

It has come to my attention that my political views differ greatly from — well — every man, woman, and child on the planet. It isn’t easy, but I have come to accept that I’m right while everyone else is wrong. I could try to seek a middle ground on issues like illegal immigration, abortion, or which sitcom sucks the most, but to do so I’d have to compromise my principles. I happen to think that my principles are among my best attributes, and I’m not ready to chuck them aside for the sake of a harmonious exchange. Still, debate is important and — to be honest — I enjoy a healthy debate. Furthermore, I can disagree with you and accept that you disagree with me, and do so in a respectful manner. In fact, in spite of the fact we might exist in fundamental disagreement, I might actually like you and you might actually like me.

The art of debate is lost in America. The ability to challenge an idea without attacking the person behind the idea is practically a thing of the past. Read the venom unleashed by the left whenever Glenn Beck opens his mouth or the equally potent poison unleashed by the right whenever Keith Olbermann opens his mouth. Modern political pundits are — first and foremost — marketing hacks. They exist to spin the news, and they know next-to-nothing about framing an argument or responding to someone in a reasonable manner. In the interest of raising the level of debate in this country, here are some rules for would-be pundits out there:

1 ) Have an INFORMED opinion: Using the Keith/Glenn example, nothing annoys me more than when one of them opens his mouth and the other doesn’t hesitate to publicly respond about how wrong the first guy is. There is nothing wrong with hesitating. Take the time to research and prepare a counterargument. It would be the easy way out to  call Keith or Glenn a big bag of gas and move on to other things, but in doing so — though you are probably correct — you lose the argument and no true debate has occurred. Don’t guess at statistics. Don’t make assumptions. Think before you speak.

2 ) Be prepared to accept a good idea from a bad source: Even a broken clock is right twice a day (assuming it is analog). From time to time, the “enemy” may be correct. You have to get into the practice of listening to ideas while ignoring the source. If you’re a lifelong Democrat, don’t assume every Republican idea is wrong (and vice-versa). Healthy, respectful debate often begins with a point of agreement, then transitions to the differences of opinion.

3 ) Be prepared to reject a bad idea from a good source: You may respect President Obama, or you may have respected President Bush, but there is no greater hindrance to true debate than idol worship. People make mistakes. People lie. All of them. Constantly. Recognize that the leader of your party — the leader of your country — is going to screw up 17 ways before breakfast, the same as you. Don’t automatically accept an idea because you admire the source. If anything, you have to be more careful when weighing the merits of an idea if it comes from someone you respect. Do not get caught supporting a person. Support an idea and you’ll find yourself on more solid ground.

4 ) Stay on target: Tangents, analogies, and so-called straw arguments only hurt your cause. Don’t point out that your opponent has made mistakes in other, unrelated areas — they don’t matter. Don’t liken the health care debate to the environment, when the health care debate is the issue at hand — all analogies are imperfect. And don’t suddenly leap to another issue you feel you are better able to speak towards. None of these tactics work and they only serve to harm your position.

5 ) Show TOO MUCH respect: There is a way to demonstrate respect without seeming insincere. However, if you can’t do it, it is better to seem insincerely respectful than disrespectful. If you disagree with that, then do so respectfully. If you get the chance to debate Hitler — who has somehow magically raised from the dead — address him by his proper title, and preface responses with phrases like “With all due respect…” or “Sir, I humbly disagree.” I don’t care if Hitler counters with a disparaging remark about Jews, the Polish, or your mother. Maintain civility.

6 ) Nobody is beneath you: I happen to believe that Sarah Palin and Alec Baldwin are two of the stupidest people who have ever lived, but I wouldn’t hesitate to engage either one of them in debate (particularly those two, because they seem to be surrounded by hordes of worshipers). If you are right, then always be right. Regardless of who is challenging you, make the time, state your case, and don’t worry about coming across as too mean or too smart when facing an unevenly matched opponent. Oh, in a true debating situation, I wouldn’t refer to Sarah or Alec as stupid — I’d let them speak for themselves, completely convinced their respective stupidity would shine like a spotlight in a dark room.

7 ) You are not Spock: By all means, point out logical fallacies in your opponent’s argument. Point out inconsistencies and shortcomings. But understand that human beings are driven by emotion, and do not expect logic alone to win the day. Opinions on hot-button issues like abortion are often personal in nature, and tend to be formed by experience and background more than by facts or figures. Argue the science (or lack thereof), but do so with the understanding that you cannot ignore the emotion of the issue. Also recognize that your emotions are a part of you, and they could just as easily cloud your judgment. At the very least, emotions are helping to form your opinion.

8 ) Listen:* The Sunday morning chat shows are filled with panel discussions, but they aren’t really debates because an essential ingredient in a debate is that people listen to each other. Most pundits get booked to represent a special interest or point of view, and come to the table armed with their talking points, determined to get them spoken on camera. It is unfortunate. Very often, heads of state appear on these sorts of shows and the potential for engaging them in substantive debate makes my head spin. But it doesn’t happen, because nobody is there to pay attention to each other — they are only there to talk. And I blame the hosts of those shows, too, who could create a totally different atmosphere by asking relevant follow-up questions. If only they would listen to their own guests.

9 ) Admit defeat: President Bush failed to convince many Americans that the War in Iraq was the right thing to do. President Obama failed to convince many Americans that comprehensive health care reform was needed for all. As a result, we’re engaged in a largely unsupported war and the health care bill that passed is a joke. I admit I have a hard time with this rule (because, as stated at the onset, I’m always right), but sometimes no matter how convincing you believe you are, remember the wise man who said, “It is possible to make no mistakes and still lose.” Know when to bow out gracefully and live to fight another day. Otherwise, you’ll just wind up exasperated.

10 ) Love thy enemy: Anyone willing to rise to the level of intelligent debate is worthy of your respect, tolerance, admiration, and friendship. In most cases, your opponent is not seeking to make the world worse. In most cases, you both believe you know what is best; you are both starting from that baseline. Many of my closest friends are politically opposed to me in every way, yet I would entrust them with my life.

All of these can be achieved if you are focused and prepared. Frankly, what passes for debate these days is insulting to my intelligence. If nothing else, the next time you happen to be witnessing a debate take place, review this list and count how many times the opponents break the rules. Pay particular attention when you happen to be in agreement with an individual. You may be surprised to discover what it is you are actually agreeing with.

* It is particularly irritating — when trying to post a thoughtful article — to be faced with the realization that the insertion of a right parenthesis next to the number 8 results in a sunglasses wearing happy face. As if the world needed further proof that substance is not paramount on the internet…

The creative forces behind MTV’s “The Real World” also created a series entitled “The Bad Girls Club,” which appears to be exactly like “The Real World” except it doesn’t feature any dudes. Since I have my underarm on the pulse of the nation, I had no clue this series has already been on the air for four seasons, but seeing the fifth season premiere as a free download at the iTunes Store, I came up with an experiment. It is a social experiment of sorts, or perhaps an antisocial one (depending on your point of view). I posed the question: Exactly how many active braincells need to be neutralized in order for this series to be entertaining?

If I may inject a personal thought into all of this: I am waiting for word on a potential job and growing increasingly more impatient (or less patient, depending on whether you’re an optimist or a pessimist). They should have gotten back to me today but we are now well past business hours, and I know that if I do not engage in above average levels of consumption of adult, liquid refreshment, there is no way I will get any sleep this evening. In other words, this experiment doubles as a viewing exercise and a much needed distraction.

My chosen means of eliminating active braincells is a dark, frothy beverage from Ireland which shall go unnamed because they didn’t sponsor this endeavor so why should they get the free publicity? I took the liberty of consuming one prior to sitting down to watch the show because — despite my never having seen an episode — I get the feeling sobriety will not do the series any favors.

As I cue up the start of the episode, I crack open round two of my liquid lunch. I immediately had to pound it because of all the high pitched screaming of the 20-something self-proclaimed bitches that materialized on the screen. No kidding. One girl saw another girl = high pitched screams. Three girls saw a boat = high pitched screams. Two girls saw a house = high pitched screams. All seven girls saw shiny objects = high pitched screams.

As near as I could tell, the old “Real World” method of at least putting on a pretense of casting sane, lucid, sober people has been tossed out the window. The last of the girls introduced before the first commercial break, a Paris Hilton wannabe, looked into the camera and stated the reason she was appearing on the show was to prove something to her parents. But she wasn’t trying to prove to her parents that she was smart or talented — nothing like that. Instead, she wanted to prove that she was not the only girl who gets drunk, has wild sex, and passes out. Who says today’s youth doesn’t have goals?

After the first commercial-less break, the girls went clubbing. Well, two of them stayed behind to bitch to themselves. At the club, the Paris wannabe proved she could be a bigger skank than anyone else in the club. It was unclear if the group was asked to leave or if the other four girls chose to leave because of her. They returned to their beachfront mansion and proceeded to lay into the Paris wannabe while she bounced around in the pool topless (and pixelated). Aside from the Paris wannabe, the other six girls have thus far failed to distinguish themselves in any way. Sure, one is covered in tattoos, another one is an out lesbian, and there are some ethnic minorities represented. But they all act the same, they all squeal like pigs, and they all think they’re the hottest women on the planet. While they aren’t ugly, I see more attractive women riding the bus here in San Diego.

The next segment featured the first appearance of men in the house of the Bad Girls. These were alpha males — big, ignorant slobs who are exactly the type of guys who end up with these types of girls. The guys were invited by one of the girls, Morgan, and whereas the previous day was taken up with the other girls dishing on the Paris wannabe, the night with the guys was consumed by trash talking Morgan. The segment ended with a few of the girls heading out to some club or bar or wherever. My liquid intake has been incredibly high, even more than when I was in Vegas last week, but it has not been high enough to quash the requisite amount of braincells needed to make this a pleasurable experience. I freely concede the girls have breasts and hair and legs and all the components that make up an attractive women, but none of these Bad Girls appeal to me in any way, shape, or form. Clearly, more liquidized barley and hops are needed.

Things went from dumb to dumber as Morgan, the Paris wannabe, and one of the other generic Bad Girls left to party, leaving four other generic Bad Girls to assume to stereotypical role of catty women. After no soul searching (as clearly these girls lack the necessary ingredient), it was decided by the four other generic Bad Girls that Morgan had to go, so they packed her crap, put it on the curb, and did their best to secure the doors. Less than four minutes remain to the episode and yet I feel that if I had only one active braincell, it would be too much to actually enjoy the concluding segment.

Not entirely shockingly, the episode ended with a catfight/cliffhanger. Will Morgan be evicted from the house? Will the generic Bad Girls display actual personalities? Who cares? Maybe this is tolerable with a frontal lobotomy, but I doubt it. Hopefully, the libation will serve its other purpose and allow me to catch a few dozen winks — 40 winks seems too ambitious a goal.